my broken teacup

Tired of the "bubble"

2006-09-03T14:44:00.000-05:00

I read this quote today and wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and run around with excitement, cry with frustration, and pray all the more earnestly to stop being so blinded to the darkness of this present world:
"There are many wounded and hurting individuals...you work with some, others live across the street. One of them probably just served you in a check-out line, seated you in a restaurant or served you food. Their chains are alcohol, drugs, abuse, broken dreams, rejection, money, lust...Well, you get the point.
Plan A is for supernatural, [for] ordinary people like you and me to: (1) wholeheartedly believe in the victory of Calvary-to believe that it was complete and final and (2) to rise up in our role as sent ones, ambassadors, authorized representatives of the Victor. Our challenge is not ao much to liberate as to believe in the Liberator; to heal as to believe in the Healer.
Plan B is to waste the Cross; to leave the tormented in their torment; to scream with our silence: 'there is no hope!'; to hear the Father say again, 'I looked, but found no one'; to hear the Son cry once more, 'The laborers! Where are the laborers?"
Come on Church! Let's untie some folks. Let's tell them there is a God who cares. Let's represent--let's mediate--let's intercede!" --Dutch Sheets in Intercessory Prayer

Left....can't wait to come home!

2006-07-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

This summer has been such a blessing--so good to get away for a while from normal routine (however, in actuality I settled into a new routine--I guess it's hard to really get away from routine), so good to have some new scenery, and learn some new life lessons. I finally started my first Donald Miller book, Through Painted Deserts. Don put the right words that clicked in my soul:
"And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax, and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?
It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you: Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you et back. It is you who will have changed."
And so goes the chapter of this summer. I left. I enjoyed it. Soaked up some lessons. Saw His faithfulness. And now I'm going to appreciate the return even more. You get used to the people you are around. Nobody really sits in coffee shops here. They dress different, think different and act different. I guess I'll find that wherever I go but it has definitely been an adjustment.

Le Tour de France has occupied my time these past few nights. My dad raised me to appreciate it. How cool that it is a sport that brings together nations...the teams are composed of people from several countries. People all over the world watch it (which is why soccer is so incredible too). Almost every big rider has a philanthropic organization--"speaking up for those who can't for themselves". It requires so much training and focus. It is as much a mental game as it is a physical strain. There is so much technology and studying that goes into it. The scenery is incredible. The fans are insane...often dressing up looking like idiots running beside riders trekking it up a mountain. In no other sport can you get that close to the athletes right there in the action. I can't imagine at night what an experienc it would be to mingle in the towns through which the race travels and eat some good French cuisine, sip some coffee, and have open eyes and ears seeing people from across the world and hearing countless tales. There is no stadium in this sport...it is a journey that spans days. It takes discipline and passion. They must be big dreamers and think like champions (invision what you dream, speak what you want to see). The Lord has been convicting me (gently) that I talk a big game so often and don't deliver. Wow...I need some focus, passion, discipline, resources, umph to GO, and a map for the journey. Champions don't just talk about the game. They get in and train. Turn their face toward the goal.
Glad we already have the yellow jersey (In Christ we are victorious!).
Sweet home Alabama in less than 2 weeks!

2006-06-30T21:03:00.000-05:00

Ahhh! I'm about to wet my pants frustrated because I just found out that we don't get OLN channel--we get like 500 other channels down here but, nope, not OLN. This means NO Tour de France until at least Monday when they are open again to call. This was going to be the year I was going to watch it everyday all the way through! I love it because it's such a bonding experience between my dad and I. We both call each other fired up about what's going on. This year is going to be incredible!--it's any man's race. Such anticipation!
Other than that, the beach has been incredible! God has been so faithful to provide every circumstance, need, and adventure. I'm learning what Kara Leigh told me a while back: that adventure is not found in a place or person but in Jesus. Every place, thing, person, etc. will eventually wear off and lose it's freshness and appeal. It's kind of like the grass is always greener on the other side. We must learn to LIVE now--BE HERE (as Beth would say)--and not wait for a certain opportunity or adventure to make life more than common. Easier said than done. Praise God for the grace for process!

Kingdom of Heaven

2006-06-17T21:46:00.000-05:00

So I was going to post a blog about how God is teaching me the importance of becoming like children in order to enter the Kingdom. So I typed my little title and was then going to proceed to write some dinky little statement about the Kingom of Heaven. I turned to my Bible concordance to look up some things on it and WHOA...I mean the Kingdom of Heaven is a much BIGGER deal than a chanted, rehearsed, unemotional "your Kingdom come, your will be done." It seems like that's all Jesus was talkign about especially in Matthew. But this seems to make sense because that's what He came to do was preach good news, BE the Good News, in order to bring His loved ones into His eternal dominion. I mean, this is going to be HUGE! The Kingdom of God will invade earth--God's perfect will will be done. He is good in all He does and makes EVERYTHING beautiful in His time. He is the King....I just can't get my mind around that concept. We're so used to democracy and self-entitlement. But in a Kingdom there is ONE on the throne and He is sovereign and ultimately divine. People that inhabit kingdoms wage wars, run economies, express themselves through art, music, and literature, design living spaces, have unique cuisines, and share things in common--can't wait to see what this looks like in the Kingdom of God! We must ask for Kingdom perspective. Awesome as the Ruler on the throne is, it's even more incredible that He would become as small as an embryo to be born on a fallen planet with deceitful people in order to bring us back--to RESCUE us before we were even born! I mean I'm just really feeling that it "will be my joy through the ages to sing of His love for me!" I don't "get" it--but I'm sure glad! But even better: He doesn't require us to achieve any of this on our own! He has already purchased our freedom, our access to the Kingdom, our acceptance to boldly approach the throne of grace. Whew...I'm overwhelmed. It's so good!!! Good thing He calls us to come as children. Learning what that looks like...

2006-06-08T21:36:00.000-05:00

I thought as soon as school was out I'd be overflowing with time to update my blog (I'm running on about 4 months without posting anything!). But once I had time, couldn't get motivated! I'm living on the beautiful emerald coast this summer!--Wow...I drive around everyday astonished that God would be so abundantly good this summer to let me live here and in such a fun house with a pool! It's been so cool to be in a new place and learning RANDOM new things. The first Sunday we were here we went to church in a tea room--a TEA ROOM! It was so rich but I kept looking around the whole time thinking how odd that I was at church in a new town, different atmosphere, and around nobody I knew. It's like God is prying my hands off of everything that is comfortable so that I can trust Him and see Him more. Someone told me that God would provide this summer and teach me things that are so random but good--amen! He always follows through! A friend sent me and some of our other friends an e-mail early this summer encouraging us with the truth that this summer is a time for us to be "scattered glory". It's been so cool hearing everybody's stories from, literally around the world, about how they have met Christians and been able to be an encouragement to them and in return be spurred on. It's just like the early church when the believers traveled from place to place just doing life together. It becomes obvious that God is weaving a work throughout the world and that our university/home is just a part of a much bigger work. He's not just doing stuff at Auburn--people everywhere are on board with ushering in the Kingdom of God. We are spreading everywhere the fragrance of Him this summer and having our perspective adjusted to see that, as Katie B put it, His blood is for TODAY! Hoping to get some good reading done while I lay by crashing waves...and avoiding the 10 foot bull shark they saw today! peace.

2006-02-21T00:17:00.000-06:00

Well, it's now February 2o (actually 21 because it's after midnight) and my last post was January 11. Yea for getting gung ho about something and then sort of forgetting...All I have to say tonight is that the valley is not a bad place. Lots of Biblical heros of teh faith had their's--even Jesus. When we have nothing to bring to the table...well that's when you realize you're where you're supposed to be. In our weakness He is strong. Right now I'm weak and tired and since my 8:00 is cancelled I'm about to sleep (what's that?) because He has faithfully provided time. He is the victory of my time!

2006-01-11T21:31:00.000-06:00

hoping for the impossible...
believing it's possible.

"His law is love and His Gospel is peace."

2005-12-23T20:39:00.000-06:00

That's some good truth from "O Holy Night"! With the Holy Spirit starting to pour out His Spirit on this generation, we will be more equipped with armor, walk more in His gifts, and claim more of His power through faith. But as Paul put it, "the most excellent way" and the "greatest of these is love". If we love there will be minimal division in the body of Christ.
Love paves the way.
Love brings hope.
Love makes the weak strong and the timid bold.
Love heals and protects.
Love saves.
Love redeems.
Love always sees the best.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love must be extravagant and sincere.
Love is beauty.
Love is seen by the blind, heard by the deaf, and spoken by the mute.
Love demolishes strongholds and shatters chains.
Love makes reality clear.
Love drives out fear.
Love gets to the jaded.
Love shines in the darkness.
Love plants, waters, and harvests.
Love perseveres.
Love presses on with the vision to see the nations bow to the Name of Jesus.
Love triumphs.
Love never fails.
Love lives in me.
God is love.

I don't know how they do it...

2005-12-20T22:31:00.000-06:00

I just don't know how my parents do it. I forgot what it's like being at home for long amounts of time--not just stopping by to visit a while. There's ALWAYS something to be done. I've definitely enjoyed my time at home but it's just funny to me because as soon as we finish wrapping presents, the cookies are done in the oven. As soon as we can get them out of the oven we have to take the clothes out of the washer and put them into the dryer, then put the cooled cookies in a tupperware to wrap up to give to the neighbors, then go take the clothes out of the dryer. After we fold the clothes and put them up we go to put the dirty clothes basket back in the closet just to find a pile that has already accumulated in the absense of the basket and now fills it completely with a new load ready to be washed. You want to watch Christmas movies but then you feel bad because sweet mom is in the kitchen working like the energizer bunny to get everything done.
So, needless to say, this break has been bittersweet so far--the enjoyment of "home" is such a blessing but it has most certainly not been a time of mind renewal--my new word for "time with the Lord." It hit me one day what a sissy word "quiet time" is--granted, I'll probably still use it every once in a while, but I feel like it's giving God this place of 30 minutes to an hour a day of "wimpy nap time". If it's a good one, usually it's not very quiet on either part. He may call you to be still but it's certainly more powerful than "quiet time." "Mind renewal" time seems more preferable. It is the essence of Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." TRANSFORMED by the RENEWING of our minds. That's it! We are tired of fighting battles with that flesh that won't accept it's place in the grave. Come to His Word that He promises will never return void (Is. 55:10-11) and be transformed by renewing your mind. It's what I talked about with Lauren S. the other day--renewing our minds is simply learning to believe and live in what we already have. He has "blessed us in the heavenly realms with EVERY spiritual blessing in Christ" (Eph. 1:3). What if we lived in every spiritual blessing in Christ?! The world would have no option but to see Jesus. But now back on the lack of mind renewal time: why is it so hard once we are at home to continue to seek God's heart and see Him? I talked to a couple of people in the good ol coffee shops we have before the break started. We were agreeing to pray for each other and keep each other accountable for grace-motivated spiritual discipline over the break. For me, at this point, it's not even a lack of desire- just a lack of focus, structure, time, discipline. I know, I know, we're all given 24 hours a day. But somehow that time just gets shuffled around and I go to bed every night wandering why I felt so defeated today. Satan will not have victory. The Lord will carry on to completion the good work He has begun--even over breaks when I don't see those sharp pieces of iron that daily sharpen me. It's a time to learn from Him--not just through others. Can't wait to see what He does! I trust that even though I am not really aware of His presence, that He is here--delighting in each of us, rejoicing over us with singing, and quieting us with His love.

Learning to throw that teacup down and let God reign!

2005-12-17T18:08:00.000-06:00

I have read blog after blog of people in my community and been completely floored by the massive amounts of insight the Lord has given them. It is ridiculously incredible how through each one the same truths are obviously being woven in each of us. However, it's so hard for me at times to understand that God is doing such big things on this amazing campus and that He will let His mighty river flow through here to reach the nations. I mean, I'm excited--but whoa! That's so huge I just don't get it. Hence the title of my blog (I finally decided to join in the blogosphere!)--"my broken teacup". Brennan Manning makes reference that for us to try understand God's love for us and His Holiness is as crazy as trying to fit Niagra Falls in a teacup. We can't!!!! So, for all of you who feel like me when you get so frustrated because you don't understand or "get" life, throw that teacup down. Jump in that waterfall and let grace pound down. He's big enough to handle what is going on.

"If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you can. If you do not, someone will be poorer all the days of his life. Struggle to reexpress some truth of God to yourself, and God will use that expression to someone else."--Oswald Chambers

Here's to me letting Him be even more glorified because of His faithful revelation!